Hello, my name is Mariann and I am fat.
Yes, fat. I mean overweight, perhaps even obese to most. No, I am not writing this to gain sympathy, attention or hate. I am writing this for me, and every other person who struggles with self confidence.
As someone who has always been a 'plus sized girl', this was never news to me and that's okay. That being said, I never knew it was okay until recently.
Fat is a word that has been taken and twisted by a majority of things. Media, society, science, and even family and friends. These influences have always come and go from our daily lives and contort what we know and believe.
Fat is just a word. A word with three letters. One word, that does not define WHO I am, what I do, or even what I plan to be. So, with this being said, let me start over.
Hello, my name is Mariann and I have fat. I also have two blue eyes that tend to change colour every so often. I have curly hair, and a lot of freckles. I have two hands and two feet. I have a tendency to speak more often than I should. I have large dreams that most say are not logical. I have an apartment that is shared with four other people. I have a kind heart with the capacity to love and accept those who are often marginalized by their race, religion, sexual orientation, gender and past history.
You see, I have a lot of things. Not one of these things define me, because every little part of me makes me who I am.
Labels such as the words fat and skinny are not a definition of who you are. They do not make or break you, they are just words. Words that you throw around everyday, but often not many realize that when you throw words around like this, it can and will hurt others. You see, fat is not the only label I am marked with. I've been called many things, and so have the people that I love.
Gay. Dyke. Bible-thumper. Whale. Twig. Four eyes. Big nosed. Whore.
These labels, and many others provide an unnecessary pressure to those who feel it most. So what if you have glasses? You also have a bright smile, a shining personality and a great sense of humour. It is one of the many things that make you...you. Unique. Individual.
There is a lot of pressure placed by those around you to be someone you are not. To be different, more different than you are now. Perhaps even to conform to what society believes is 'normal'.
For years I have been on a weight-loss journey to help my body and my self confidence. Years, being marked with labels has torn my mental health to shreds, to the point I couldn't look in a mirror. It happens, and it happens too often to people everywhere. Men, woman, non-binary peoples, teenagers; everyone. With determination, I have been able to change my physical appearance and lose some weight. But even then, I didn't love myself.
Through working through my mental struggles of self image, I have worked up to a happy and safe place. I began to see my progress as not only helping me, but enhancing what beauty I already had. Features that made me physically beautiful. It is true, beauty is not only skin deep. That is where my journey came in. To even further my confidence, I found my determination to better myself even more beautiful than my physical appearance. My willingness to adapt, grow and excel - to prosper even furthering that belief.
Life is about moments. Moments to cherish. Moments to remember. Moments that make a difference. All I can do is celebrate all the moments I have now, on a go forward basis and be the best friend/family member/human I can be, in this moment.
Even if I’m not okay. Because, that is also okay.
One day, it won't matter what those have called me. One day, that time in all of our lives will be considered the past. The time where labels like that are petty. One day, we’ll be able to look back as our future selves and see where we all changed – for the better. We truly recognize our own beauty. Now I truly believe that everyone is beautiful. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.
There is a certain strength that comes from realizing your weaknesses. Labels. Everyone goes through these labels differently. Some need to find ways to see their labels as a strength instead of a weakness. Sometimes it takes time. That is okay. It's okay to not be okay.
What we can do as people is surround those with positivity and encouragement. If someone wants to wear something that makes them feel good about themselves, do not tell them to go change, or to cover themselves up. Telling them to change how they cope will not only hurt at the present time, but tear down all the handwork of rebuilding that self-confidence.
So yes, I am fat. Now, I am a little 'less' fat. I am big, but that is not all that I am. I have the power to change if I want to, but only on my terms. Not for anyone else, but for me. It has taken me time to rebuild myself to where I am now, and I am not through with my journey. I have a long way to go, but my journey is not my weakness anymore. It is my strength.
Yes, fat. I mean overweight, perhaps even obese to most. No, I am not writing this to gain sympathy, attention or hate. I am writing this for me, and every other person who struggles with self confidence.
As someone who has always been a 'plus sized girl', this was never news to me and that's okay. That being said, I never knew it was okay until recently.
Fat is a word that has been taken and twisted by a majority of things. Media, society, science, and even family and friends. These influences have always come and go from our daily lives and contort what we know and believe.
Fat is just a word. A word with three letters. One word, that does not define WHO I am, what I do, or even what I plan to be. So, with this being said, let me start over.
Hello, my name is Mariann and I have fat. I also have two blue eyes that tend to change colour every so often. I have curly hair, and a lot of freckles. I have two hands and two feet. I have a tendency to speak more often than I should. I have large dreams that most say are not logical. I have an apartment that is shared with four other people. I have a kind heart with the capacity to love and accept those who are often marginalized by their race, religion, sexual orientation, gender and past history.
You see, I have a lot of things. Not one of these things define me, because every little part of me makes me who I am.
Labels such as the words fat and skinny are not a definition of who you are. They do not make or break you, they are just words. Words that you throw around everyday, but often not many realize that when you throw words around like this, it can and will hurt others. You see, fat is not the only label I am marked with. I've been called many things, and so have the people that I love.
Gay. Dyke. Bible-thumper. Whale. Twig. Four eyes. Big nosed. Whore.
These labels, and many others provide an unnecessary pressure to those who feel it most. So what if you have glasses? You also have a bright smile, a shining personality and a great sense of humour. It is one of the many things that make you...you. Unique. Individual.
There is a lot of pressure placed by those around you to be someone you are not. To be different, more different than you are now. Perhaps even to conform to what society believes is 'normal'.
For years I have been on a weight-loss journey to help my body and my self confidence. Years, being marked with labels has torn my mental health to shreds, to the point I couldn't look in a mirror. It happens, and it happens too often to people everywhere. Men, woman, non-binary peoples, teenagers; everyone. With determination, I have been able to change my physical appearance and lose some weight. But even then, I didn't love myself.
Through working through my mental struggles of self image, I have worked up to a happy and safe place. I began to see my progress as not only helping me, but enhancing what beauty I already had. Features that made me physically beautiful. It is true, beauty is not only skin deep. That is where my journey came in. To even further my confidence, I found my determination to better myself even more beautiful than my physical appearance. My willingness to adapt, grow and excel - to prosper even furthering that belief.
Life is about moments. Moments to cherish. Moments to remember. Moments that make a difference. All I can do is celebrate all the moments I have now, on a go forward basis and be the best friend/family member/human I can be, in this moment.
Even if I’m not okay. Because, that is also okay.
One day, it won't matter what those have called me. One day, that time in all of our lives will be considered the past. The time where labels like that are petty. One day, we’ll be able to look back as our future selves and see where we all changed – for the better. We truly recognize our own beauty. Now I truly believe that everyone is beautiful. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.
There is a certain strength that comes from realizing your weaknesses. Labels. Everyone goes through these labels differently. Some need to find ways to see their labels as a strength instead of a weakness. Sometimes it takes time. That is okay. It's okay to not be okay.
What we can do as people is surround those with positivity and encouragement. If someone wants to wear something that makes them feel good about themselves, do not tell them to go change, or to cover themselves up. Telling them to change how they cope will not only hurt at the present time, but tear down all the handwork of rebuilding that self-confidence.
So yes, I am fat. Now, I am a little 'less' fat. I am big, but that is not all that I am. I have the power to change if I want to, but only on my terms. Not for anyone else, but for me. It has taken me time to rebuild myself to where I am now, and I am not through with my journey. I have a long way to go, but my journey is not my weakness anymore. It is my strength.
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