Simply Sawyer

You may outgrow people in your life, and people in your life may outgrow you. That's not tragic, that's normal. Growth is life. Before we divorce our friends, let's divorce the idea that it has to be all or nothing. We don't need to have people as only a "best friend" OR completely cut out of our lives. It's okay to have people in our lives that we can only enjoy in moderation. Plenty of my friends live lifestyles and have priorities that don't line up with mine, and that doesn't mean I have to delete them from my life, it just means I can enjoy them in small doses.  We do ourselves and others a disservice when we decide that our history is more important than our future. When we notice our paths heading away from each other, we clinch arms, and both of us fall off course. The only thing we can be promised in life is change, whether that's change for the better or worse, is something our attitudes can impact. I'm not going to mourn a fr...

         Being around good people with good energy is priority.        We have this hero complex where we think we're always the exception to the rule. We're not addicted to our phones, it is everyone else. The age of pointing fingers. We don't get influenced by advertising, that is everyone else. We are too smart, "woke", or whatever word we want to use to decorate our delusions.      A large one is assuming we can influence others, without them influencing us. We have great chemistry, horrible chemistry, and everything in between with people, but it is chemistry none the less, and no one walks away the same after we cross paths. There's no shortage of people who need support, we all do, but some of us haven't taken the very crucial first step: helping ourselves.         When you have good energy, you'll attract other good energy, but you'll also attract energy that's toxic. Everyone is worth helping, and e...

February 6th, 2018 Day #35  I don't care to be happy all the time.  I see the value in other emotions, and happiness isn't the best teacher. What I do see value in is what are the things that trigger my different emotions. Sometimes, it is a specific person on social media, or a type of news story I read, or sometimes I'm just "hangry". It's important to become aware of those triggers, and to know that what may trigger you, may not impact other people, and vice versa. I see people lose their "cool" on social media over things I couldn't care less about, and sometimes they're over the top recreational outrage reactions annoy me, so I have to recognize that trigger. There's a popular saying that we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with. If we take that seriously for a moment, what do you learn from identifying who those five people are, and should those five people remain as your top 5? I'm not pushing a specific wa...

February 4th, 2018 Day #33 If life didn't challenge us or throw unexpected curve balls at us...it would be boring. We wouldn't grow. Not to say we don't deserve a happy and comfortable life. But it is to say... we need to have periods intermittent growth throughout all stages of our life- and that growth comes not only with the ups of life, but also with the downs. It's often through the rough patches where we get to know ourselves more. Learn to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations. Learn to be comfortable to say no to things that don't feed your joy peace or happiness. We won't always get our way- but we can learn make the best of what life throws at us and adapt. You are being presented with a choice: evolve or remain. If you choose to remain unchanged, you will be presented with the same challenges, the same routine, the same storms and situations until you learn from them. Until you love yourself enough to say, 'no more.' Or better yet, until ...

February 3rd, 2018 Day #32 Surround yourself with open-minded people who are much more curious than judgemental.  I deal with my stresses harshly. I internalize them. In fact, as mostly everyone in my life knows, I stack more onto my plate to keep my mind off of the other stresses. I layer my stress with more stress. The reality was, I wasn't ever in a bad situation, I was just being over judgemental. I wasn't open to the idea that maybe these challenges I was facing were an opportunity to grow. I didn't realize not having any money would gift me a beautiful simple peaceful life of minimalism, even after the money came back. The heart breaks and betrayals taught me to pay attention to people's actions over their words. Most of all, if none of that happened in my life.  I would have never written my books, and allows me to travel the world, I would have never changed my pathway in life, which defied every voice in my head. I didn't fix my problems over night, I am no...

February 1st, 2018 Day #30 IT IS MY BIRTHDAY! So this means it is time for a cheesy message incoming... I am thankful that I get to wake up everyday in a country where I have the privilege to work and go to school. I am thankful for the opportunity to share my thoughts, most times without filter with the general public (and not be silenced). I am thankful for the healthcare system that Canada has in place. No, it is not perfect, but I don't know where I would be without it. I am thankful to have the chances in life to make a difference, no matter how big or small. I am thankful for having a lot of people in my life who care about me, whether it be for 365 days of the year, or for just today. This was the first birthday that just felt like a normal day. Then I get some pretty cool notifications, calls, texts and hugs that make me realize that I've made it pretty far in life, and that is worth celebrating. Then it got me thinking, I am approaching my mid 20's and have do...

January 31st, 2018 Day #29 They was a forgiver. Their heart was so large that they didn't know how to give up on people,  because they always believed in the good of those they loved. It wasn't until they were walked on one too many times, that they had no choice but to let go of those who burned holes in their heart. Experience taught them, hurt raised them, neither defined them. Sometimes, the ones that are supposed to protect you from monsters are the monsters. It takes an undeniable amount of courage and strength to walk away from toxicity. It is not strengthening your relationship by staying in something toxic. You are not stronger people. It is not love. It is toxic. Fighting everyday is not passionate love. It is toxic. Being with someone purely because you've been together a long time is not strong. It is toxic. You are not more enlighten because you stay together. It is toxic. You are killing your psyche. Think of it as a dinner table, and you are being fed foo...

January 30th, 2018 Day #28 For me, leading a fulfilling life has become all about balance. Opposite of how I once lived and look where that got me. Mixing it up, diversifying things I do and try, wandering out of my comfort zone, but at the same time putting in the work, making a difference, having purpose. Focusing on being a good student, co-worker, friend and person. What do I need to do today to be the best I am capable? I try to ask myself that. Do you? Let's talk. Let's talk about mental health. The good, the bad and the ugly. Balance has not always been something that I've been able to achieve. In fact, I've been living the past few years unbalanced - exceedingly unbalanced. I run myself into the ground with four jobs, full time school, cosplay and volunteering for different organizations (and in some cases, leading them). I live an intense, busy life for anyone, let alone a young 20-something year-old. But I do all of these things for a reason. It's time to ...

January 28th, 2018 Day #26 I've always had it in my mind, when given a choice to be right and kind, choose kind.  When given a difficult situation, never lose myself or who I evolved to be, to swear or become annoyed. But lately, I've been growing annoyed a lot, because my comfort zone has zoned out and personal space has apparently spaced out too.  But is that reason enough for me to let out a few swear words (totally unintentionally), albeit it was merely once?  No.  When you do something you don't really do often, still it makes the first impression about you to someone else. And even if there is no one involved, doing something "wrong", even if it's very small, makes your heart very sick. Especially when it is not often. I remind myself again, when given a choice to be right and kind, choose to be kind and right, never rude and right. When given a choice to speak good words or swear, always choose good words. Even if the entire world chooses to cuss. Becau...

January 27th, 2018 Day #25 Sleep it off, cry it off, walk it off. Whatever you need to do, do it and move on. We can't think our way out of a sh*tty feeling. We have to do something about it, and flicking our thumb through social media is probably the exact opposite of what we should be doing. We have to change the channel, change the environment, change the people, just change anything that's within our immediate power. The response of 'easier said than done' never gets old, but we get to the point of sink or swim, and since many folks self-diagnose themselves with depression, maybe it's time they also self-treat that same condition with real action. Figure out the triggers, recognize what's good for your mind, body, and soul and do that. Otherwise we're trapping ourselves in a self-loathing cycle wondering why everyone else seems happier than us; they're not. The folks that are genuinely happier are putting in the work, because they realize that little...

January 26th, 2018 Day #24 A date? Like a sit down, at a table, you dress up, I dress up, kind of thing? Well, here’s the thing: I’ve got a history of awkward, uncomfortable situations, and I, usually, am the one that makes things awkward and uncomfortable, so, it’s going to be a pretty subtle but straight up, “HAHAHAHHAHAHAH, are you serious? Bad idea, no, no, no. No dates, it’s a no, thank you.” Let’s skip all of that and go straight to the ‘I can tell you I farted and you’d be fine with it, and then burp in my face’ phase, please? Complete comfort, because I can get weird, trust me. Can you handle this? Most try to but realize they can’t and ghost halfway, more like at the 10 yard line. Total understanding on this side though, it’s an “I told you so” kind of moment for me when this happens. I will go 0-100 when we meet, so if you’re interested, I’ll know you’re in for all of the strange, random thought outbursts, and what-if scenarios I throw your way. Oh, and do not eve...

January 25th, 2018 Day #23 One of my first blog posts on this site, if you were around then to remember, depicted that it is okay to not be okay. And it is okay to not be okay.  This is a lesson that has been more than a decade in the making for me. I’m in my early twenties and I’m just coming to grips with the fact that I don’t handle stress well, that I’m not as strong as I thought I was and that all of the crap I went through, all the things I learned about myself through those times I can now use to try to help my friends and family as they face their own emotional issues. It’s okay to not be okay.  I keep telling myself that I need to be strong right now, that I need to find a way to hold it all together…but I think the truth of the matter is that I don’t have to be all that strong. I don’t have to always hold it together. That it’s okay to show my friends and family that not always being okay is in fact okay. Life isn't easy. It’s been a time that I’ve had to shut mysel...

January 24th, 2018 Day #22 It isn’t being drowned by tidal waves,  It isn’t being lost in the middle of the ocean, unable to swim.  It is a hurricane.  A ruthless, merciless hurricane bent on losing you in the midst of chaos.  Grief doesn’t only suffocate you.  It completely and inevitably tears you apart, limb by limb.  Grief pulls you through hundred mile per hour winds and crashing trees.  It’s like looking out of the window, and being unable to see anything, because today the hurricane brought tears, thousands of them; so many that you cannot see anything at all.  Being drowned by tidal waves, Would be suffocating and frightening.  Being lost in an angry ocean, Seeing and then feeling wave after wave, being unable to speak or scream or breathe.  Even being unable to swim, Would be preferable to a hurricane.  Because during a hurricane you can scream, and you can feel yourself screaming, but nobody can hear you; you cannot even ...

January 23rd, 2018 Day #21 " For as long as I can remember I've felt like I've been held back, no... caged in.  In spite of the countless messages I heard about how limitless I am, I still believed that level of freedom, for me at least, was forbidden. When I was a little girl, I'd sit by the window listening to my boom box and I'd watch (boss around) my brother and sister while they were playing outside with the neighbourhood kids.  They always looked like they were having so much fun. I would hear them ask "why isn't she playing with us?" "I don't know.. she just likes her music" That was true. I did like my music, but what was even more true was that I envied their ability to be carefree and wanted to join them. I tried it once. I went out to play and decided to prove that I wasn't a complete herb by doing a cartwheel in the middle of the street. I was really good at them, and so I nailed it! There was just one problem; I was we...

January 22nd, 2018 Day #20  We'll figure it out, we always do. Every time I find myself falling into the trap of doubt, fear worry and anxiety, this is my mantra. Sometimes I say it once a day, sometimes it's several times an hour, regardless, it's been a truth I can rely on. You're still here, you've weathered many storms before, and you'll weather many more that come. Unfortunately you can't simply remember this once, and all the skies clear, it'll never be that easy. We need to remember the noise in our heads isn't always valid, and we're allowed to change the channel anytime we want, and as often as we need. - M 

January 21st, 2018 Day #19 we are nothing but a unique puzzle. are we really waiting to be solved? I think we are just waiting to be understood, Its just simply narcissism "so called" we have our own standards; not everyone can have us at their own will, we have our own weaknesses, we want to hide so desperately ,which is nevertheless, unveiled. sometimes people we don't want, figure us out, Its nothing my dear, but gamble. sometimes people we adore cant understand us, and all our dreams butchered, in shambles. time and again they come, time and again they fail, is it really that much of a task? we don't want much just wits and patience and time and determination, is it too much to ask? every once a while someone promising shows up, we are hopeful they might be it, they try and try their best but all in vain, for they change us to something that cant be fixed. we are careless in the beginning, and later anxious a bit, 'what if no one can unlock me? Oh god what am ...

January 20th, 2018 Day #18 "Sometimes over-thinking and over-trying in life actually makes things more difficult and confusing." Balance isn't a one-time thing.  We don't simply achieve balance in life. We don’t have the ability to press pause, or auto-pilot, and it'll be smooth sailing from there on in. We achieve balance for a short period of time, then something (or someone) will come and knock us off course, and that's life.  Sometimes over-thinking, and over-trying in life actually makes things more difficult and confusing. There's a charm to simplicity, so one of the best ways I've found to achieve balance a bit more often, is to be holding onto a lot less garbage. We'll be better off shedding ourselves of excess baggage of regrets, negative thoughts, and energy draining people. That will free up some room for more important things, as well as make life feel a bit lighter.  The world is going to continue to turn regardless of what we’re doing...

January 19th, 2018 Day #17 I was afraid to show my arms. Weird right? Not really when you think of how much I used to struggle with self confidence. I was afraid to share my work. I was afraid afraid of being judged and shamed by others, so I existed beneath the radar for the longest time.Then I began taking baby risks, and at the same, I made an effort to be around open-minded and open-hearted people. So often it’s a cycle, people judge and shame us, so we judge and shame others; it’s gotta end somewhere. I’m proud to say I’m not longer afraid of many of those things any more, and those around me know that I’m a safe person to be around. I devote more energy to understand, rather than judge. Because I want to be myself and I encourage others to be themselves around me. I love being around unique folks, "nerds and weirdos", because it keeps things exciting and encourages me to take more big & baby risks. Pay attention to the people you keep around you, how many of them do...

January 18th, 2018 Day #16 Most people make trends and labels out of the most sensible and complex things that can be just different from another being. They use these "strange" labels on themselves fashionably , but is appalled when facing them. I get it, but if you cant speak of it neutrally, in reverse, feel unease of it , then don't! How insensible! Those then wonder why is it that the "strange" is censured, frowned on, and just set aside when it is authentic? The "strange" are not a joke, the others are themselves; aware of themselves so they like to turn the mirror around and let themselves be fooled. Be abashed, for you are a fool in lowering others to feel better of or "trendy" your self. Face yourself. - M

January 17th, 2018 Day #15 What you lost was never meant to be yours, they always said. T hen,  you lost yourself over people who were never meant to be yours but you, you were always meant to be yours. You are yours. Always. People may come and go and you will always let go but don't let yourself go. Don't lose yourself. We lose ourselves when we become swept up in the motions of the ocean of life, and don't attempt to turn around to find our way back until we are fairly deep. I pray that you quit overthinking, replaying failed scenarios, feeding self doubt and seeing the good in everyone but yourself. You deserve more. Yet, it's in our nature to look at the glass half empty, not because we are naturally negative Nancy's. It's because as survivalists, we've always had to keep an eye out for what could go wrong. Now that our personal safety is not as much of a concern, our brains are still wired to see what is going wrong, and then jump to what could go wron...