Skip to main content

Year of the blog: Day #29 - Toxic People

January 31st, 2018

Day #29


They was a forgiver.

Their heart was so large that they didn't know how to give up on people,  because they always believed in the good of those they loved. It wasn't until they were walked on one too many times, that they had no choice but to let go of those who burned holes in their heart. Experience taught them, hurt raised them, neither defined them.

Sometimes, the ones that are supposed to protect you from monsters are the monsters.

It takes an undeniable amount of courage and strength to walk away from toxicity. It is not strengthening your relationship by staying in something toxic. You are not stronger people. It is not love. It is toxic. Fighting everyday is not passionate love. It is toxic. Being with someone purely because you've been together a long time is not strong. It is toxic. You are not more enlighten because you stay together. It is toxic. You are killing your psyche. Think of it as a dinner table, and you are being fed food that is not edible. You cough, sputter and even choke on what you are being fed. You have to learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served. What I mean to say is that you are allowed to terminate toxic relationships, whether romantic, family or friendships. You do not owe an explanation to anyone for taking care of yourself. Not ever.

Then there is healing after going through the torment of toxicity, and sometimes, it can be just as messy. Healing is messy. It's alienation. It's detachment. It's terrifying. It's jet black inky darkness. It makes you ache for the void and the mundane. You want to quit everything. But you can't. You won't. Not now, not ever. Even though it aches like the mother of all aches, you've changed. Underneath all of the turmoil, there you are. Brand new. Born again. A warrior ready to take on the world. You aren't about to turn back now. There are more JUST like you out there. Well, not quite like you, but in a similar position. At their crossroads. We are all waking up right next to you in the dark. Don't worry about fixing any part of you. You aren't the one that needs to change. No, you just need to find your foundation again. But you do not have to do this alone. You are never alone.

- M

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

It's okay to not be okay.

This hasn’t been the easiest of posts for me to write. I’m pretty sure I’ve deleted more words than I’ve written and I’m still not sure if what I’m trying to actually say makes any lick of sense either but if you’ve been in my shoes, hopefully you’ll understand. As a person who has lost many family and friends, I should be a natural at this. I’ve been preparing myself for the emotional rollercoaster, I read blogs on grieving, books, gravitate toward my 'safe places' such as Disney, Harry Potter, Star Wars and of course, writing. Losing someone you care about isn't easy. But I didn’t expect it to be this hard either.  I’m glad that at this point in time, society has been speaking more openly about mental health. I’m thankful that there are resources available for them when they need the help. I’m grateful for the awareness that is out there now amongst peers and teachers and others in authority. I can’t say enough how thankful I am to those who are...

Growing up or growing out?

You may outgrow people in your life, and people in your life may outgrow you. That's not tragic, that's normal. Growth is life. Before we divorce our friends, let's divorce the idea that it has to be all or nothing. We don't need to have people as only a "best friend" OR completely cut out of our lives. It's okay to have people in our lives that we can only enjoy in moderation. Plenty of my friends live lifestyles and have priorities that don't line up with mine, and that doesn't mean I have to delete them from my life, it just means I can enjoy them in small doses.  We do ourselves and others a disservice when we decide that our history is more important than our future. When we notice our paths heading away from each other, we clinch arms, and both of us fall off course. The only thing we can be promised in life is change, whether that's change for the better or worse, is something our attitudes can impact. I'm not going to mourn a fr...

Welcome to my blog!

Hello everyone, and welcome to my blog!  I have decided to make a personal blog site. This means that every blog that is posted here will be authentic to me. All thoughts and opinions are my own unless otherwise said. Some posts will be strongly opinionated. Others may cause some discomfort. I write in order to cause YOU to think. I want you to question what I post. I want you to think, feel and have an opinion.  I have been very busy in the writing scene. I am currently working on two novels. One is a collaborative novel and the other is my novel that I've been working on since November 2014. My solo novel will be released January 2017 for public viewing and purchase. The profits from sales will be donated to different organizations/families each month. I will keep you posted on more novel information as it becomes available. Also, I've been a reviewer for local shows and performances. I am excited to share those with you! Reviews will be posted on here within the we...